Broken by the President

“Obey the president. Accept his authority.”

The greatest presidential secret isn’t a UFO sighting or a military conspiracy—it’s the presidential sex island east of Washington, D.C.

I was just a janitor at the White House, but the president took an interest in me. He got me on my knees. He made me smell his presidential musk. He made me wear the First Lady’s used clothing.

But I didn’t realize it was all a job interview.

Now, we’re on his jet heading to the island. He wants to add me to his collection of obedient young men.

Here in the sky, he’s breaking me down. He’s preparing me for a life of pure, unyielding, eternal devotion.

I’m ready to serve my country and its glorious leader.